It’s Official
“There are no ‘disclosable court outcomes’ or outstanding matters recorded against the name and/or fingerprints of ANN … within the records of police services in Australia.”
I paid $170.00 and risked an international airfare for a piece of paper stating this.
foshizzle!
i paid $40 for a piece of paper stating:
“marzine is not, at the date of issue of this certificate, recorded as being wanted or recorded in the indices of any Australian Police Service”
huh, they should check my ASIO file man - that’d shake things up, freak some people out. I went to the moratorium march you know.
oh i feel so unwanted.
Comment by matrine — 8/10/2005 @ 5:19 pm
And now you’re both paying thousands of dollars for a piece of paper that will say “x has been awarded a PhD in …” and it will be just about as useful (well, maybe less so… at least the AFP clearance lets you get into Brazil….)
Comment by Adrian — 8/10/2005 @ 5:41 pm
Melissa, you sell sex?
My cutlass says you’re free.
:)
Comment by Mr Frasco Man the Argumentative Pirate — 8/11/2005 @ 10:33 am
No, the certificates are fabricated but equally as impressive with the ladies. I also print high quality girls for boys, boys for boys and girls for girls. There should be an online form soon. For extra money, we provide an STD clearance. But I really shouldn’t do shameless plugging of our services at Good Root Certificates PTY LTD here on Ann’s blog.
Any extra service comes at a much higher price. :0
Comment by Melissa — 8/11/2005 @ 12:14 pm
Do you have an extra service pricelist available for me to peruse?
If Ann disapproves we can simply provide her with some sort of commission.
Comment by Mr Frasco Man the Argumentative Pirate — 8/11/2005 @ 1:20 pm
Oh you two, you make a recovering catholic girl blush!
Comment by ann — 8/11/2005 @ 3:32 pm
i’d like to dedicate my comment to my father - ASIO should have a whole room dedicated to him by all accounts.
Comment by matrine — 8/11/2005 @ 4:56 pm
That’s funny about the blushing ann because I think I’ve blushed at some of your posts… especially that fuckbuddy one.
Comment by luke — 8/11/2005 @ 5:31 pm
Is Mr Frasco being flirtatious? ;]
Well, I was trying not to be too hard sell, but like all good marketing campaigns we roll out our benefits in a targeted way.
Did I mention that the “extra service” is a loyalty program?
Comment by Melissa — 8/11/2005 @ 10:12 pm
Sorry to backtrack… Melissa, will you give me a certificate of good sexual conduct plus a clearance for STDs despite my chlamydia? Naturally the good performance is a given…
Comment by Adrian — 8/12/2005 @ 6:20 am
Here you go!
Comment by Melissa — 8/12/2005 @ 11:07 am
Haha, can I have mine minus any cursors?
As for being flirtatious, let me fetch my blunderbuss, you pretty young thing!
Any fellow suitors will be forced to WALK THE PLANK!
Comment by Mr Frasco Man the Argumentative Pirate — 8/13/2005 @ 5:22 pm